Parenting is the most wonderful job on earth. Parenting involves being extravagant in your love to your children, meaning to say, to love them unconditionally, no matter what happens. Accept them for who they are, regardless of the path they have chosen, and the mistakes they have made. You may or may not get any returns after all. But it is still worth the time and effort as he/she is still your child.
Here are 5 simple and yet powerful ways in which you can express your love for your child. There is nothing fanciful or expensive. All it takes is your sincerity and your heart.
1) Spending Quality Time
Some children’s love language is to spend quality time with them. I understand it is hard for busy parents with a full-time job and hardly have time at home to rest. However, there are still ways such as communicating through the phone, going out for lunch or even going for coffee together!
2) Words of Affirmation
Using words of affirmation is a powerful tool to express your love. Every child needs words of positive affirmation to feel assured and encouraged that they are improving and doing the correct things.
I remembered there was once when Matthew (not his real name) ran home excitedly to show his dad that he has improved his Chinese grades. He had been struggling to pass his Chinese for many years and he finally passed by a few marks.
Unfortunately, expecting his dad to share his excitement, his dad did the opposite by saying that it is only a pass, and there is nothing to be proud of. Matthew was very sad and demoralized. He gave up studying for his Chinese as he got no encouragement despite passing his Chinese exam.
As we can see, the dad’s thinking was very different from his son’s. He thought that by saying that, he would prevent his son of being too proud of his results, and spurred him on to greater improvements. But it turned the other way round.
Therefore, parents should be more generous with their praise and encouragement. Words of affirmation can go a long way in helping your child to succeed in life.
3) Giving Gifts
Gifts come in many forms. They need not be expensive. A small gift can go a long way in telling your child how special he or she is. Gifts need not be given only on birthdays. In fact, it is best to give gifts at unexpected moments! All children love surprises. A little note or surprise would make up their day and can motivate them to do so much more stuff than you can ever imagine.
Pasting simple notes like “I appreciate you because…” on your child’s desk can work really well in spreading your love. Your child will really feel great by just reading your words alone.
Johnny (not her real name) had been longing for a mobile phone. His parents refused initially as they thought that he would not need at a young age and would cause a huge telephone bill. But after observing him for a while, they found out that giving him a mobile phone as a surprise gift would make him feel good.
When they finally presented Johnny the gift, they could see the disbelief in his eyes. He was so touched that he almost cried. He felt so loved and happy and the whole family felt good for him too. After the gift, Johnny became very motivated in his studies. He put in a lot of hard work and his results improved dramatically for the next exams.
4) Providing Acts of Service
There are many types of acts of service that parents provide. Common ones include picking your child up at school or cooking a nice meal for him or her.
John and Mary (not their real names) were both very busy working parents who had not much free time to accompany their children. They felt their children’s relationships drifting apart from them. One day, John decided to take half day leave from his work to travel to his children’s school to pick them up. Mary also took leave to prepare a nice dinner for them. Their children really showed their appreciation by finishing up all the food and helping to clear the table.
You need not do great and mighty things to love your child. Just a simple act of service can really touch your child’s heart.
5) Physical Touch
A touch can spread much more love than words can spread. A pat on your daughter’s shoulder when she is going through a bad day helps. Your touch will tell her that, “It is ok, dear. I am always here with you.” Other forms of non-verbal communication include giving your child a hug, giving a high-five, rubbing their shoulders or affectionately messing their hair.
However, remember to avoid hugging or kissing your teenage children in front of his peers. Nothing can embarrass them more! This totally violates their emotional need to look ‘cool’ and ‘independent’.
Some children do not feel comfortable with certain types of physical touch. The kind of physical touch that makes them feel loved is based very much on their own personal preference as their preference changes as they grow older.
To love your child extravagantly does not mean that you have to give to his whim and fancy. But you need to make him feel important, special and loved.
Article by Study Grandmaster
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