Why Authoritative Parenting?

August 5, 2008

photo by livelyphoto

There is no denial that the parents and family play a big part in a toddler’s development.  With all the parenting methods that I have discussed in my previous post, authoritative parenting is the most successful approach to child rearing.  Let us go into details of being an authoritative parent.

In authoritative parenting, parents are warm, responsive, attentive, patient and sensitive to their child’s need.  The child is encourage to express his thoughts and feelings.  According to the maturity of the child, they are allowed to make their own decisions. Parents still have high expectation of the child but they make reasonable demands and explain right from wrong to the child rather than yell and scream at them.

As an authoritative parent, you are striking a balance between being an authoritarian one and a permissive one with appropriate punishment set for the good of your child. Your child will be able to feel the love that is given to them and at the same time feel the security that when they are off the track, there are someone to guide them back.

In the current context, it might be hard to achieve this.  I myself experience the struggle within me too.  There are times whereby I scream and yell at my son when he misbehave and get me on my nerves but I know that I am improving everyday.  Whenever, I did that, I tell myself never to do it again.

There are also times where me and my husband wanted to be permissive parents and grant my son everything that he wants because we feel that we haven’t being spending enough time with him and being a 2 year old, the way my son requested for things are too cute for us to reject.  However, we try our best to take a step back to assess whether to give in to Ashton.

Now, imagine you asking your toddler to go for a bath and then he refused.  He started a whole series of tantrums, screaming and struggling.  What will you do?  I face this with Ashton at times too.  In the past, I will demand that he goes to the bathroom immediately and it cause even more conflicts between the 2 of us.  Now I will distract him, get him into the bath and then explain why he needs a wash up.  The end result is so much better.  He enjoys his bath and I do not need to get angry.

I believe good anger management skills are essential for us to succeed in authoritative parenting and enjoy the end results of it by enjoying a more fulfilling parent-child relationship and at the same time raise more confident and responsible children!

Posted in Managing Parenthood, Toddler Behavior