Top 8 Tips For Raising a Happy Child

June 24, 2008

photo by vivekchugh

Top 8 Tips for Raising Happy Child.  I am a full-time mum, who witness every details of my son’s growth. Ashton was a happy kid with all attention showered upon him till one fine day, his younger sister, Ashlyn comes along. He began to change. He throws tantrums more easily nowadays and sometimes refuses to cooperate. I came to realize that in order to balance my role as a mum to the 2 of them, I start to get patient with him and one too many “I am busy, darling, please play by yourself”.

Along the way, I realize that in order to raise happy and contented children, you really need to put in a lot of effort, time and also be extra patient. I am still on my way to perfect my parenting skills and I discovered that if I don’t let anger get the better side of me and scream my head off at my son, repeating the 8 steps below really works to make my son happy and also make him cooperate more willingly.

1. Give lots of Praise
Concentrate on their positive behavior and praise them for it. Excessive criticism chips away a child’s confidence. Praise in particular to his action and the good things that he has done. (for example: you dance really well, you have done it, good job etc) Don’t just use the same old compliment (you are a good boy!) day in, day out. Children can sense our sincerity in praising them.

2. Join in their fun (Be silly!)
Believe it or not, children loves it when you are silly. Let loose with your child. Join in their play at times and be silly with them for laughter is best for the soul. My children loves it when I invent silly songs and sing it to them. My daughter laugh and my son will request for me to sing it again and again. I sing silly songs to encourage my children to eat their food and chew them properly, to encourage my son to go potty, etc. and I notice it works.

3. Minimize your “Don’t”s
When my son gets on my nerves, I have the tendency to scream at him not to do certain things and I notice that it doesn’t work. He would only scream back at me or continue to do the things that I dislike. What I have learnt is to use lots of “lets”. Instead of saying:” don’t disturb your sister”, I would say:” let’s be nice to your sister” and I think it does work. It increases co-operation.

4. Be ready to forgive
Try to make disciplinary rules clear and consistent. Always remember that children are very immature individuals by nature. Don’t take their actions personally. When they do something that gets you on your nerves, be ready to forgive after you have discipline them.

5. Don’t expect perfection
I have fall into the trap of a typical parents. I wanted my son to excel in all fields from studies to outdoor sports to socializing. Imagine what an ambitious parent I was! Ashton by nature is not very socialable. Though that was one of the traits that I see in myself, I can’t accept that my son was just like me. I enroll him to toddler class to allow him to socialize and when he was just like superglue to me, I started to get upset with him. After reading some parenting books and at the same time reflecting on myself, I realize how selfish I was to want to mould him into the person I want him to be. I should try to bring out the unique qualities in him instead. When I stop forcing him to do the things that I want him to do, it makes him more eager to try different things out when he is ready and he is happier in class now. I discover that taking the pressure of perfection off the little ones makes them want to learn to do more instead.

6. Teach them how to be independence
Teach them to do their own things and encourage them rather than do it for them. They will be very happy that they can do it and will take pride in themselves for accomplishing it.

7. Have a happy family
Provide a secure home environment. Research shows that children with loving and secure homes are more likely to succeed later in life.

8. Take care of your own needs
We as parents have our own needs too. When we can’t satisfy our needs, we will have some resentment bought by the unnecessary self-sacrifice and children seems to be able to sense the subtle signals. I used to work and till now after being a stay at home mum for over a year, I still can’t get use to the fact that I am not working and contributing. After thinking for some time, I decide to start www.thenewageparents.com in hope to serve the parenting community to satisfy my mental needs.

Posted in Managing Parenthood