Being a father can be a huge struggle. For most men, being a father is an overwhelming role transformation. The primary reason cited by experts is that with the addition of a new child in the family, a woman’s attention is no longer focused on him, but on the child. Furthermore, the dynamics of a couple’s life will change in all aspects, in terms of their marital relationship, sexual frequency and financial priorities.
Here are tips to help the men out there to be aspiring fathers.
- Evaluate your priorities. See to it that you have sufficient time for work, your wife and your children. These are three main aspects of your life. If you think your work demands more time, talk to your family about it.
- Show your children that they are needed and welcomed. Spend time together as a family at home. Do some household chores together such as cleaning the car or cooking.
- Engage in play. Most children view their fathers as tough and stern. When you laugh and play with them, they will see you beyond your tough exterior.
- Get involved. Sit with your children as they do their homework or when they watch TV. Children express a great deal of feelings and ideas in their conversations during day to day activities.
- Tell bedtime stories. Narrating your own childhood to your children during bedtime can be a great bedtime story.
- Avoid physical punishments. Earn your children’s respect by being firm and consistent with house rules. Children can obey without being beaten or spanked.
- Make little surprises. Surprise your wife and children when you come home from work – buy them a cake or ice cream which can be indulged by the whole family.
- State what you want. Avoid giving your children the ‘silent treatment’ as they might think that you are pushing them away.
- Listen to what your young ones have to say. Fathers are house authorities and call the shots but that doesn’t mean children do not have bright ideas. Listen to what your children have to say when they voice out their opinions.
Parenthood is a lifelong journey. For all those fathers-to-be or fathers out there, we leave you with an inspiring quote by Angelo Patri on fatherhood: “The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road.”