5 Anger Management Tips for Parents

July 22, 2008

photo by longshim

I decided to recall how I manage my own anger towards my children and share them with my fellow readers today.  I was inspired to do this when I was surfing net and chance upon a social parenting groups and I saw this topic…”Share your bad parenting experience so that others won’t repeat them”.  I thought for awhile and concludes that the key to positive parenting is anger management.  Only when you are able to contain your own anger, then you will be able to handle a child’s tantrums with calm and grace.

I admit that I am an impatient mum and my children do get me on my nerves many a times and I lose my cool with them too.  Being a stay-at-home mum, I witness all the siblings rivalry fights, tantrums throwing and crying.  Though there are lots of wonderful times with the children to get me going, I do get bonkers with all their fights and their misbehaving too.  These are some methods to management my anger when I handle them.

• Take a deep breadth and walk away for a while so as to prevent myself for screaming at them.  I normally get my husband to handle them as he is more patient.  Try not to touch your children when you are angry with them so as to avoid spanking them.
• Identify reasons for the misbehavior. Children naturally misbehave at times.  Think of reasons why children misbehave.  Do they misbehave to attract your attention or is it because of siblings rivalry, are they tired, hungry, etc.  They exhibit abnormal behavior for a reason.  Identify the reason and handle them according.
• Have sufficient rest yourself. You will only feel fresh and clear headed after a good rest. Recall the way you react to your children’s misbehavior when you feels good and then recall the way you react when you feel stress up and tired.  Is there any difference in the way you handle your kids?
• Think about the positive side of your children. This is a trap that many of us fall into.  Eg.  when we enter the room and saw our a puddle of water, in a fit of anger, we will think that our children are naughty.  They are playing with water and mess up the house.  Why don’t we think it from another angle?  They might be trying to get us a drink and accidentally spills the water.  We might be more forgiving towards that.
• Take time out. Think of the things that you could do to help you cool down.  Before you cool down, avoid talking to your child so as to avoid bitter exchange with each other.

These are only some methods that you can use to manage your anger when you are angry. How good will that be if we could just avoid them altogether.  What I did was to write out my resolution to be a calm and loving mum to Ashton and Ashlyn.  At times when I think that I did very badly on managing my anger towards them.  I will pick up a good book on self improvement or parenting or read anything that refresh myself on my resolution and work towards being a better mum the next day.

My motto.. No one can be the perfect parents.  Its alright to lose your cool at times. Everyday is a brand new day just keep reminding yourself to do the best.

What are other anger management methods do you have? Care to share?

Posted in Managing Parenthood, My Parenting Journal